Parenting: How To Deal With Adolescents

Preeti Kwatra Nov 04, 2020

Dealing with teenagers can take its toll on the parents and can give them a tough time, more often than not. The teenager often looks up to their parents as their role models so it is the parents’ foremost responsibility to be a good role model for them. During this age, teenagers face a huge number of challenges. Their bodies are undergoing a lot of mental, physical and hormonal changes and development, which is quite challenging for them.

It is very important for parents to look after themselves so that they set the right example for their teenage children as they look up to them and follow them. Parents should be very careful about their conduct and behaviour while interacting with others as their children are constantly observing them. While talking to your teenager it is very important to stay calm and not to react but respond in a normal way. The tone and the language used by parents is very important here. If parents feel that they are getting angry, they should take a deep breath before replying and pause for a moment instead of showing their anger outburst. This will not only help you to calm down but also model desired behaviour to your teen and show them how to behave.

Listening to your teenagers patiently is more important than talking. Lending them a patient hearing will build their trust in their parents and they will be more open to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with them. Parents should set their teenage children’s boundaries and limits but not in a negative way or by pointing out their mistakes and criticizing them but by befriending them and appreciating them for their efforts. Teenagers are already struggling for their identity, which is natural, so we should give them some “me-time” or alone time. Parents must respect their feelings, thoughts and point of view. However, their bad or unacceptable behaviour should not be overlooked and should be handled very tactfully.

One mantra that helps a lot is to treat them as a unique individual who is respectable, understandable and whose point of view is as important as yours. Make them a part of every decision made in the family. They need to know that their parents love them, irrespective of their academic performance, shortcomings, etc. Parents need to express their love for them by giving them a hug, being more of a friend rather than a parent or a strict disciplinarian, making their favourite food or taking them out for a picnic. It will help you strengthen your bond with your child and they will feel closer and more attached to you. Give them responsibility, space, freedom and respect them.

Appreciate and praise them for their little efforts and encourage them by giving them a pat on their back, no matter how small their effort is, as criticism will only make them negative and create distance between you and them. Parents can also reward them from time to time for doing good work or performing well academically. Nurture them with love, care and attention but do not be over-protective or nagging all the time. If they truly feel loved, appreciated and understood, they are more likely to respect you, like you and create a friendly bond with you, which is extremely crucial for them at this stage of their lives.